My children are in the process of becoming adults. They are 19 and 21 years old and their lives are in transition. As their lives change my life changes as well. (For one thing it's alot quieter around the house.)
My son Mark is attending college and my daughter Missy is doing an internship at a national ministry. On Thanksgiving night Missy wanted to go shopping at the local outlet mall for their "midnight madness" sale. (To be totally transparent, the last thing I wanted to do was go shopping "all night" on my little vacation.)
After much deliberation I decided to go shopping with Deb and Missy on Thanksgiving night. Why - because I want to spend time with my daughter. It's kind of a role reversal. If I want to have a relationship with my adult children I need to let them do the planning and be willing to do things that they want to do. (I think alot of people still see their adult children as kids. In other words they don't know how to relate to their children as adults.)
We approached the freeway exit for the outlet mall and traffic was backed up for two miles on the interstate. We waited in "line" for about 45 minutes to get to the parking lot. Once we got into the stores the check out lines snaked around the entire store so it was difficult to move around, look at product or even to just stand still.
I think every high school girl in the state of Minnesota was there. We finally got to bed at 6:00 AM. We had a blast, found some good deals and starting schemeing about how to do it better next year. The best part though was I got to spend time with my 19 year old "baby" girl. I learned a valuable leadership lesson: If you love someone you will let them lead some of the time.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sometimes I Don't Feel Like Giving Thanks
I don't know about you but right now we are going through a budget crunch at our church. For just a moment I was tempted to have a bad attitude about "Thanksgiving" this year. It's moments like this I am gald the Bible says "In everything give thanks". Sometimes you have to give thanks by faith not just when you feel like it.
On the other hand when I do a quick examination of what I have to be thankful about it's a pretty long list. On my deathbed I don't think I'm going to be saying "I wish my childen's ministry budget had been bigger," I will be thinking about what really matters;
* I have the most awesome wife in the world. We have been living in the same house for 24 years and she still likes me.
* My daughter, Melissa, graduated from high school this year. Missy is serving God through an internship called "Go Ministries" (She is having the time of her life).
* My son, Marky, is an awesome worship leader and attends Northwestern College in Minneapolis.
* Deb and I are empty nesters this year so we have more time for each other. :)
* I am part of the leadership team at totally awesome church with a lot of really good people and friends.
* I am washed in the blood of the Lamb. (Without Jesus I would be dead or in prison somewhere)
What are you thankful for?
On the other hand when I do a quick examination of what I have to be thankful about it's a pretty long list. On my deathbed I don't think I'm going to be saying "I wish my childen's ministry budget had been bigger," I will be thinking about what really matters;
* I have the most awesome wife in the world. We have been living in the same house for 24 years and she still likes me.
* My daughter, Melissa, graduated from high school this year. Missy is serving God through an internship called "Go Ministries" (She is having the time of her life).
* My son, Marky, is an awesome worship leader and attends Northwestern College in Minneapolis.
* Deb and I are empty nesters this year so we have more time for each other. :)
* I am part of the leadership team at totally awesome church with a lot of really good people and friends.
* I am washed in the blood of the Lamb. (Without Jesus I would be dead or in prison somewhere)
What are you thankful for?
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Are you a Lone Ranger?
One of the greatest enemies of Children's Pastors is the Lone Ranger Syndrome.
Do you feel like the whole church is backslid because somebody moved your DVD player?
(I know I've had that thought before.)
Do you have thoughts like this:
"The other leaders in the church do not have a vision for reaching children."
I've had to battle these thoughts my whole ministry.
The other day the Lord asked me "Do your support their vision?"
To be totally honest, I had to answer "no I didn't".
With my words I supported the other Pastors and Leadrs in my church but my actions told another story.
When I thought about it, the only ministry I was involved in was children's ministry.
(Like everybody else, I have lots of really good reasons to not help other people with their vision.)
I did something this weekend that I have never done before. I attended our Men's Advance at a resort in Gradn Rapids, MN.
(That's faith language for men's retreat)
It's hard to believe but in 30 years of serving in churches I have never attended a Men's Advance.
I had a graet time, rewewed some old friednships and (by my participation) I communicated to the other Pastors in the church that I support their vision.
I heard a Preacher say this once "great leaders know how to work with other leaders".
If you have been running with your vision and it seems lile you have hit an invisible wall, maybe it's time to support someone else's vision.
Do you feel like the whole church is backslid because somebody moved your DVD player?
(I know I've had that thought before.)
Do you have thoughts like this:
"The other leaders in the church do not have a vision for reaching children."
I've had to battle these thoughts my whole ministry.
The other day the Lord asked me "Do your support their vision?"
To be totally honest, I had to answer "no I didn't".
With my words I supported the other Pastors and Leadrs in my church but my actions told another story.
When I thought about it, the only ministry I was involved in was children's ministry.
(Like everybody else, I have lots of really good reasons to not help other people with their vision.)
I did something this weekend that I have never done before. I attended our Men's Advance at a resort in Gradn Rapids, MN.
(That's faith language for men's retreat)
It's hard to believe but in 30 years of serving in churches I have never attended a Men's Advance.
I had a graet time, rewewed some old friednships and (by my participation) I communicated to the other Pastors in the church that I support their vision.
I heard a Preacher say this once "great leaders know how to work with other leaders".
If you have been running with your vision and it seems lile you have hit an invisible wall, maybe it's time to support someone else's vision.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
First Fruits
The first step in teaching our kids about "being thankful" is to teach them about tithing.
I find it simply amazing how adults think we should not challenge kids in the area of giving. They reason; "kids don't have much money so we shouldn't ask them for the little they have".
It's interesting to note that in the Bible, Jesus encouraged the widow woman for giving the little that she had. He didn't rebuke the people who took up the offering. If we don't teach our kids about tithing and giving they will grow up with a "feeling of entitlement" which is very deadly
Deb and I always sat down with our children when handing out their allowance. I would say to them: "There are four things you can do with your money; tithe it, save it, spend it or give it away -and you should practice all four. We would divide their allowance into the four evelopes and invlolve them in the decision making process. (When they turned 17 they both had over $5,000 in savings they they used to buy a car with.) I didn't buy them their first car - they did by saving partof their alowance every week.
As a Pastor I teach the kids in my class about bringing their first fruits. One object lesson I have done involves eating a banana while I am teaching. When I was a kid I would spend my most of my allowance as soon as I got it. First I went to K-mart and bought some candy. (take a bite form the banana) Then I would go buy an ice cream cone( Take another bite)
Then I went to the drug store and bought some comic books (take another bite) When I got to church on Sunday I would reach into my pocket and say "Sorry God this is all I have left" (throw the banana peel into an offering bucket) I was giving God what I had leftover. The Bible says God wants your first fruits, not your leftovers. Also your tithe should come form your money not your Mom's money. Alot of kids will ask Mom for money for the offering - that's ok, but you still haven't paid "your tithe" yet.
Tithing is first base when teaching your kids to have a "grateful heart' When you bring your tithe to God you are saying "Thank You God! I reconize that everything I have belongs to you!
I find it simply amazing how adults think we should not challenge kids in the area of giving. They reason; "kids don't have much money so we shouldn't ask them for the little they have".
It's interesting to note that in the Bible, Jesus encouraged the widow woman for giving the little that she had. He didn't rebuke the people who took up the offering. If we don't teach our kids about tithing and giving they will grow up with a "feeling of entitlement" which is very deadly
Deb and I always sat down with our children when handing out their allowance. I would say to them: "There are four things you can do with your money; tithe it, save it, spend it or give it away -and you should practice all four. We would divide their allowance into the four evelopes and invlolve them in the decision making process. (When they turned 17 they both had over $5,000 in savings they they used to buy a car with.) I didn't buy them their first car - they did by saving partof their alowance every week.
As a Pastor I teach the kids in my class about bringing their first fruits. One object lesson I have done involves eating a banana while I am teaching. When I was a kid I would spend my most of my allowance as soon as I got it. First I went to K-mart and bought some candy. (take a bite form the banana) Then I would go buy an ice cream cone( Take another bite)
Then I went to the drug store and bought some comic books (take another bite) When I got to church on Sunday I would reach into my pocket and say "Sorry God this is all I have left" (throw the banana peel into an offering bucket) I was giving God what I had leftover. The Bible says God wants your first fruits, not your leftovers. Also your tithe should come form your money not your Mom's money. Alot of kids will ask Mom for money for the offering - that's ok, but you still haven't paid "your tithe" yet.
Tithing is first base when teaching your kids to have a "grateful heart' When you bring your tithe to God you are saying "Thank You God! I reconize that everything I have belongs to you!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
An Attitude of Gratitude
One thing that I am thankful for is: Thanksgivng comes before Christmas. This gives us (parents and pastors) a whole month to teach our children "how to be thankful" before they recieve all their gifts on Christmas. This way we can set up our children for success on Christmas morning. Success in our gift giving is not only giving the gifts, but recieving them with the right attitude. (We spend alot of time buying Christmas presents, but how much time do we spend thinking about what we are going to say when we recieve our gifts).
My children are both attending college now, but I still remember whem my daughter Melissa was a pre-schooler. I loved watching her open presents on Christmas morning. It didn't really matter what was inside the wrapping paper, Melissa would jump up and down saying "It's Barbie! It's Barbie!"
Children are not born with an attitude of graditude. We have to train them to be thankful just like we train them in other areas and here-in lies the challenge. In America we love to buy gifts for our children. If we give lots of gifts without teaching our children to be thankful we are actually giving them a "feeling of entitlement" which can be very deadly.
The bottom line is "I'm more happy when I'm thankful" If we want our children to be happy it's actually more important that we teach them to be thankful than to give them lots of gifts.
My children are both attending college now, but I still remember whem my daughter Melissa was a pre-schooler. I loved watching her open presents on Christmas morning. It didn't really matter what was inside the wrapping paper, Melissa would jump up and down saying "It's Barbie! It's Barbie!"
Children are not born with an attitude of graditude. We have to train them to be thankful just like we train them in other areas and here-in lies the challenge. In America we love to buy gifts for our children. If we give lots of gifts without teaching our children to be thankful we are actually giving them a "feeling of entitlement" which can be very deadly.
The bottom line is "I'm more happy when I'm thankful" If we want our children to be happy it's actually more important that we teach them to be thankful than to give them lots of gifts.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Hallelujah Harvest
We had our best Hallelujah Harvest ever last Wednesday. (oct 31st)
We had games which went from 6:00pm - 7:00pm
Family Service in the sanctuary from 7:00pm - 7:30 pm
Games again from 7:30pm - 8;30pm
We also did a Kids Studio live action (disney style) thrill ride with special effects and candy falling on the kids at the end.
It was a big hit. (find out more info about kids studio at kidsstudio.org)
There was about 3,000 people in attendence with 50 people responding to the alter call.
Can't wait till next year!
We had games which went from 6:00pm - 7:00pm
Family Service in the sanctuary from 7:00pm - 7:30 pm
Games again from 7:30pm - 8;30pm
We also did a Kids Studio live action (disney style) thrill ride with special effects and candy falling on the kids at the end.
It was a big hit. (find out more info about kids studio at kidsstudio.org)
There was about 3,000 people in attendence with 50 people responding to the alter call.
Can't wait till next year!
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